This is a transcript of Zack and Ivy's appearance on the Fox Kids' Countdown on Feb. 12 of 1995. Just in case you were wondering, the Fox Kids' Countdown was a syndicated two-hour children's radio show that aired Sunday mornings in the United States. The show's DJ was Chris Leary and he, sometimes assisted by guest co-hosts, counted down the top 15 songs that kids voted on.
(I don't think the show still airs, so I used the past tense in the description. If it is still airing, I'll update the description to the present tense.)
(Note: This transcript was done without permission, and also is a bit incomplete, though most of the dialogue should be here. A (?) means I am unsure of what was said or the spelling of a name. Also, to save me some typing, I abbrivated the names as follows: CL - Chris Leary, Z - Zack, I - Ivy, and CS - Carmen Sandiego.)
(show intro music)
CL: Hey you made it just in time for the Fox Kids' Countdown. I'm Chris Leary, and I have some good news and bad news. Which do you want first? Oh, better yet, I'll just flip the old Countdown coin. Ok, heads- good news first, tails- bad news first.
(flipping sound followed by sound of coin landing)
CL: It's...yes! It looks like heads. Ok good news first. Get ready for 2- count 'em 2 hours of songs requested by you, plus [mentions a few contests and such]...oh and the best news is that this week, my co-hosts this week will be Zack and Ivy- the cool detective combo you see every Saturday morning on Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? . In fact, uh...looking at my watch, Zack and Ivy should have already arrived. Oh well...anyway, now the bad news. I heard a rumor-
(C-5 corridor opening noise sounds)
I: Hi Chris, did we miss her? Is she gone already? What did she steal? Are-are you ok?
CL: Hi Ivy! Oh wait, miss who? You mean Carmen Sandiego? I'll tell ou what, I heard she's listening and is planning on stealing something from the Countdown.
Z: Hey Chris, what's happening?
CL: Zack! What's up man? How ya doing?
I: Chris, Chief told us Carmen Sandiego may be heading straight for the Fox Kids' Countdown.
Z: Chief also says she's out to steal something. We don't know what or when it'll happen, but I guess it's going to happen on today's show.
(gasping voices, followed by a body hitting the floor sound effect)
I: Uh-oh, Chris fainted...
Z: Dude, you gotta rise to the occasion!
CL: (nervously) Carmen's going to be here? Whew! No way! Lock the doors! Call 911! Find some wooden nails! Seal off all the exits! Find my teddy!
I: Easy Chris, don't worry! With Zack and me on the case, Carmen won't steal a thing!
CS: Wanna bet?
CL: (panicked) Geez! Where'd her voice come from?
Z: From the satelite hook-up, Chris. Carmen listens to the Countdown every Sunday morning.
I: Don't let Carmen Sandiego's digital/audio interference get to you Chris.. If we just have a good time, play some requests, Carmen won't be a problem...I hope.
CL: (gaining confidence) All right you guys, whatever you say. Tell you what, I do feel safe with you being here. Let's say we lighten the mood by kicking off some Hootie and the Blowfish, what do you think?
Z: Oh killer! "Hold My Hand" is my new favorite song, hands down.
I: Chill bro, it's only a debut at number 15.
Z: Hey, every future number 1 has to start somewhere, right Chris?
CL: Yeah, you said it, my brotha!
Z: This Countdown's going to rock!
("Hold My Hand" plays)
CL: Hootie and the Blowfish splash- (water splash noise. Chris shivers) their way in the Fox Kids' Countdown.
I: With a strong debut at number 15, "Hold My Hand."
Z: Hootie and the Blowfish got their name from two buddies. This one dude had owl eyes, so they called him "Hootie." The other had really puffy cheeks like a blowfish. Hey Chris, did I tell you- I dig radio big time!
CL: I tell you what- Zack, Ivy- you guys are welcome on the show anytime.
CL: And Carmen? Carmen Sandiego? I know you're listening and I'm not afraid of you! And to prove it- I'm cranking your them song right now! Ha ha! Come 'n get us. We're ready and waitin'!
Z: Chris, you're one confident hombre!
I: Really, Carmen hasn't got a chance now!
(Carmen theme plays)
I: Ok, it's Ivy here on the Fox Kids' Countdown jamming to number 14 with a group whose name (mockingly) was inspired by my brother Zack. They're called- Immature.
Z: (sarcastically) Ha ha ha ha ha! Write that one yourself?
I: I just 'em like I see 'em little bro'.
CL: Immature is at number 14. I'm Chris Leary.
Z: I'm Zack.
I: And I'm Ivy co-hosting the Fox Kids' Countdown- getting set to stump you on the Fuddlement's Challenge.
CL: Sponsored by Cap'n Crunch.
Z: Ok, now if you had to pick one work to describe Carmen Sandiego's behavior, it would have to be- "kleptomania."
I: Yup, and here's one clue to start you out- the word does not begin with the letter 'C'.
Z: I guarantee you can find the word "kleptomania" in a dictionary.
CL: And when you find out the meaning...(give address and contest info)
I: Then Chris will pick a winner from all the correct answers. Player, Zack is gonna tell you the prize.
Z: I am? I don't even know what the prize is.
CL: Here ya go man. (sound of paper being handed to Zack)
Z: Oh cool, thanks Chris. Hey Ivy, check it out! The prize is a "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" computer software game! Awesome!
I: Cool! Player, if you win the challenge, you can help us catch Carmen Sandiego. Good luck.
CL: Good job on the challenge guys. Now let's see how you take requests. We'll be getting on the phones and calling a Fox Kids' Club member next.
CS: Come find me.
CL: You are back listening to the Fox Kids' Countdown. I'm Chris Leary, hanging with ACME detectives Zack and Ivy.
Z: Yeah! The number 13 song cranks!
I: It's Willy One-Blood doing the "Whiny Whiny."
CL: Ooh, Willy One-Blood bolts up one spot to number 13.
Z: "Whiny Whiny" - an autobiographical composition dedicated to my big sis', Ivy.
I: Ha ha, very not funny Zack. Fine, we're even. Ok, let's see what's up with a certain Fox Kids' Club member.
CL: Oh cool, (phone ringing sound) it's ringing. (person picks up) Hello? Is Joel there?
Voice on phone: Yes.
CL: Is this Joel (couldn't make out last name)?
CL: This is Chris Leary- Fox Kids' Countdown. Say hi to Zack and Ivy.
Joel: Hi Zack, Hi Ivy. How ya doing?
I: Great Joel, thanks.
Z: Cool Joel.
I: How ya doing?
Joel: Fine, thanks.
CL: Ok, now it's time to give me a requestand it can be a dedication too.
Joel: Could you play that song by Meatloaf, "I Would do Anything for Love?"
I: ...Meatloaf, by request.
(sound of door opening)
CL: (in dippy British accent) Here sir, meatloaf- just the way you like it- sumthered in ketchup and cut into little chunks.
Z: Dude, clue in. We meant Meatloaf the singer.
CL: (still in bad accent) But please sir, I've gone through- (splattering noise)
I: The Fox Kids' Countdown moves to number 12.
CL: (back to regular voice) ...moves up 3 spaces to number 12, "Constantly." I'm Chris Leary, running the Fox Kids' Countdown controls with Zack and Ivy of Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?
I: Chris, we should tell you that Carmen Sandiego has threatened to steal something before the show is over.
CL: There is no way carmen could get in here. This place is like Fort Knox.
Z: Hey! Check it out! Carmen's left us a CD sound clue.
Z: Chris, can we play this?
CL: Yeah sure, let's do it.
(sound clip consists of a fragment of the song "King Tut")
I: Hmm, I wonder what this mean? The CD sound clue is marked number 1, which you can bet means there's more.
Z: Carmen said she'd steal some mystery item on today's show. But we still don't know when or what.
CL: Ok, well while we're pondering what "King Tut" means, I was thinking of getting into some Fox Kids' talk. Today's topic in honor of Valentine's Day is...uh define love.
Z: Excellent call. Let's get on those phones, buddy.
I: Oh boy, male bonding.
CL: I'm Chris Leary.
I: I'm Ivy.
Z: And I'm Zack. We're watching over the Fox Kids' Countdown, cuz rumor has it, Carmen Sandiego may strike at any minute.
I: Right now it's time to voice your views. Today's topic- define love.
CL: Ok co-hosts, let's get into Fox Kids' Talk...(various phone calls)
I: Aw, those were some sweet answers. You see guys, romance is not dead. There's been so many great couplets throughout history like Adam and Eve, William Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet...
Z: And don't forget "Gone with the Wind's" Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'Hara.
CL: ...Oh look guys, if we're talking cartoons, the best duo has to be Popeye the Sailorman and the love of his life, Olive Oyl. It's a Fox Kids' cartoon callback.
("Popeye" song plays)
Z: ...greatest cartoon couple of all time, Popeye and Olive Oyl.
I: I dunno little bro', tell that to Willma and Fred Flintstone. (pause) The Fox Kids' Countdown moves non-stop to number 1.
CL: That's right. Thank you very much Ivy. The number 11 song goes out to our buddy, Issac Lou(?)-
Z: Who listens to the Fox Kids' Countdown every Sunday morning on 95.9 KEZY.
CL: Orange County's best mix of the 80's and 90's. For you Issac, it's Ace of Base.
Z: "Living in Danger."
I: ...down one spot to number 11, "Living in Danger." I'm Ivy.
Z: And I'm Zack, checking in with this week's Fox Kids' Calender with Mr. Chris Leary.
CL: Oh Zack, you are right on top of it my brotha! (calender events mentioned by lady) ... So Zack, Ivy, how would you like to hear these sounds in your house?
(arcade sound noises heard)
Z: Chris, does the word 'duh' mean anything to yu?
I: What's going on, Chris?
CL: Well, it's the Fox Kids' McWorld Home Arcade Sweepstakes. (gives contest info)
CL: I'm Chris Leary.
I: I'm Ivy.
Z: Hey yo out there! It's the Wolfman Zack Attack!
I: Wolfman Zack?! Please! Reel it in, rookie.
CL: By now you know my co-hosts are the stars of Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? - Zack and Ivy. They've agreed to protect the Fox Kids' Countdown.
Z: Carmen Sandiego swore to reek havoc on today's show, but no Carmen sightings so far.
I: Carmen's definitely kept us on our toes. We've follwed her to places like Greece, Stonehenge, the Taj Mahal and yesterday- Memphis Tenesse.
CL: Tell you what, I wouldn't mind swiping Carmen's frequent flyer miles. Well, either way, check out Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? every Saturday morning.
I: All right, here's one of my favorite songs at number 10- Jade, "Everyday of the Week."
CL: The precious jewels known as Jade slip Carmen's tretcherious grasp.
Z: They're safe at number 10, "Everyday of the Week."
I: It's less than 48 hours until Cupid's big day. We need to play a Fox Kids' Countdown suited for Valentine's Day. Any suggestions, guys?
Z: Oh yeah, how about that a cappella tune by Waldo and Darla of "The Little Rascels?" Oh, what was that one called, Leary?
CL: Oh I know! ... It's called "L-O-V-E" ....
CL: Oh what a perfect song for Valentine's Day. "L-O-V-E."
Z: Yeah, and if you want to see Darla and Waldo singing, check out "The Little Rascels" movie on home video. It's a cool rental.
I: Ok, so far, so good. No sign of Carmen Sandiego yet.
CL: Well, let's just keep it that way. Going straight up to number 9, it's Vanessa Williams- "The Sweetest Days."
CS: I wouldn't have it any other way!
CL: Vanessa Williams holds steady at number 9- "The Sweetest Days." Zack, Ivy, the time has come to give away another prize on the Fuddlement's Challenge.
Z: All right, let's make someone's day!
I: Ok, if you've entered, stay by the phones. We're calling you right now.
CL: (phone rings and is answered) Hi is Danny Kin(?) there?
Danny: This is he!
CL: Hi Danny, this is Chris Leary...What is this sound?
(sound effect of video arcade is heard)
Danny: A video arcade?
CL: Funny you should say that cuz- you're right! You got it!
Danny: All right! Thanks Chris!
I: Danny, you've won a Fox Kids' grab bag stuffed with CDs and cool videos!
Z: Hey, and if you didn't win today, no problemo. Chirs calls a winner every week, right Chris?
CL: Guaranteed Zack. Now it's time to strap in for another hour of the Fox Kids' Countdown. We'll be meeting Jesse Bradford(?) the star of Far from Home- The Adventures of Yellow Dog .
I: Yes! I like Jesse Bradford's(?) style! But, business before pleasure. We still haven't heard anything new from Carmen Sandiego.
CL: Welcome back to the second hour of the Fox Kids' Countdown. I'm Chris Leary on the lookout for Carmen Sandiego with Zack and Ivy.
Z: Oh man, Carmen is going to swipe something at any moment, I just know it.
I: Wait! Here's a fax from Carmen. It says:
Big Kitty and I are feeling grand
With our toes in the sand
and all we see is land."
CS: And you'll never catch me!
I: "Signed, Carmen Sandiego."
CL: Guys, Carmen's starting to freak me out. What's she after?
Z: Chill Chris, that's still a mystery. Check out the facts- "Big Kitty and I are feeling grand-"
I: Lemme see, Zack. "With our toes in the sand and all we see is land."
CL: Um, let me think here, um- Carmen's not at a bench...she must be-
All three: In the desert!
The Chief: Whew! I am impressed!
I: Thanks for monitoring our progress while we run the Countdown Chief. Ok detectives, what's next?
CL: Well, now it's time to hook up with the Mc World Jammit or Slammit Crew. Here's the deal. I'll play a song for my two judges. If they like the song, it's a jammit-
Z: If they don't like the tune (baseball bat hitting ball noise) it's gone! A slammit- see ya!
CL: Exacto Zack! ... Okay [the callers are both named Dan] ... guys, meet Zack and Ivy.
Z: All right, a couple of Dan dudes!
I: Hey guys, just ignore my brother.
(Jammit or Slammit song plays- Kids vote)
CL: ..thanks guys. Now each Mc World member-
Z: Dude, how do you become a member?
(Chris gives info)
I: Player, if you weren't on today's Jammit or Slammit crew, hang in there. It happens every week, so keep sending in the postcards. Plus, write down your 5 favorite songs so Chris can play them on the Countdown. The Jammit or Slammit crew is brought to you by-
(Mc World plug)
CL: Hey, here's a bite from the number 8 song.
Z: The Pretenders!
I: ...flashes forward.
Z: Gloria Estefen(?) is at number 7.
CL: ..."Turn the Beat Around" is down a spot to number 7.
(plank call skit)
CL: (in cheesy wise man voice) Your wisdom has led you to the Fox Kids' Countdown. I am Chris Leary- the Hitmaster. I will fulfill any requests with my enchanted co-hosts, Zack and Ivy.
Z: Yeah! Nice sorceror outfit Chris!
CL: (back to normal voice) Like it? Picked it up at a yard sale- dirt cheap.
Z: Cool. The material-
I: HELLO! It's time to call a Fox Kids' Club member!
Z: Uh...oh....yeah, right.
(phone call with request)
CL: The Fox Kids' Countdown moves to number 6.
I: It's Yakko Warner-
Z: Yakking about Yakko's Universe.
CL: Yakko's Universe is up 2 big ol' spots to number 6. Uh hey Yakko, what do think of my brilliant detective co-host Ivy?
Yakko: Hellooo, nurse!
Z: Hey easy Yakkster, that's my sis you're talking about!
Yakko: I don't believe it.
Z: Dude, look at the resemblence!
Yakko: I STILL don't believe it!
I: Uh, Yakko would you like me to give you some candy for Valentine's Day?
Yakko: (whistles) Oh yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!
I: Good, because I have some speical gourmet candy just for you. Listen to this kid who knows a lot about candy.
(kid talks about making candy by dipping ants in chocolate)
Yakko: I don't believe it!
I: Here Yakko, try some ant candy.
(sound of Yakko running off)
I: Yakko! Wait!
I: Oh well, not guts, no glory. So much for "Ant-imaniacs."
(interview with Jesse Bradford(?))
I: ...from the awesome movie, Far from Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog . Let's hear it for Jesse Bradford(?)!
Z: Yeah! Watching that movie made me realize you gotta believe in yourself no matter what the situation. This week's number 5 song by Desree(?) focuses on just that- "You Gotta Be."
(song plays. It is followed by skit with Chris and Montana Max insulting him. Then after giving Montana a pie in the face, Chris plays the Tiny Toon Adventures theme.)
CL: Oh, you gotta love the theme from Tiny Toons . I'm Chris Leary, hanging with Zack and Ivy. Hey..what's up guys?
I: Chris, somehow Carmen Sandiego dropped off the second CD sound clue. Let's listen.
(sound clip is part of the song "Walk Like an Egyptian")
CL: Wonder if Carmen's disguise is going to be Egyptian.
I: Don't forget Carmen's facts- "Big Kitty and I are feeling grand, with our toes in the sand, all we see is land." Player, how are you doing? We think Carmen's in the desert, but what is she after? Keep on the case so we can bust Carmen together.
CS: Try if you like Player, you won't catch me. This time my plan is out of this world.
CL: (shivering) Ooh, she sounds serious. But, uh, I guess we'd better move on.
(something (wacked effect I guess) followed by commericial break)
CL: You're back at the Fox Kids' Countdown. (lists off some radio stations that play the show)
Z: (Terminator voice) Excellent.
CL: (laughs) Nice job. Well, let's hear it for my confident co-hosts, Zack and Ivy.
CL: Yes! Thank you very much guys. And by the way, it's now time for a mouthful of "Sukiaki"(?).
CL: 4 PM, which means "4 Positive Music" is in the number 4 spot.
Z: Hey, that's weird. The number 4 song is by a group called 4 PM. (chuckles) Go figure.
I: It'll be ok Zack. Chris, we got another name of a Fox Kids' Club member. Let's do the instant request thing. CL: Ooh, I like it when a co-host takes control, Ivy. (phone rings)
(some talking with Ann(?), the person Chris called)
CL: ...say hi to Zack and Ivy.
Ann(?): Hi Zack and Ivy.
(in unison) Z: Hi Ann(?), what's up? I: Hi Ann(?).
Ann(?): You catch Carmen yet?
Z: Uh, not yet, but it's a sure bet- like your request.
I: What do you want to hear?
Ann(?): "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" by the Lion King.
CL: Ooh, that sounds like a dedication. Do you have a Valentine?
Ann(?): Yeah right!
CL: ...keep listening to the Countdown, you'll meet a boyfriend soon.
Ann(?): Yeah, right!
CL: ...exclusive Fox Kids' Countdown mix of-
I: "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" I'm Ivy.
Z: And I'm Zack jamming into the number 2 song. I get the feeling Carmen Sandiego's chickened out on us.
I: Uh, Zack, don't count your chickens before they've committed the crime. It would be a crime not to play this song by Jon Bon Jovi and his badn Bon Jovi, "I Will Love You Always."
CL: ...on bended knee.
I: (sighing) Oh, what a great song. (collects herself) I'm Ivy, co-hosting the Fox Kids' Countdown, getting ready to stump you again on the Fuddlement's Challenge.
CL: Brought to you by Cap'n Crunch.
Z: Ok Player, listen up. If you had to pick one word to describe Carmen Sandiego's behavior, it most certainly have to be-
I: Uh, here's one clue to help you out. The word does not start with the letter 'C.'
Z: And, I guarantee you can find this word in a dictionary.
CL: I think I know what it is. When you uncover the meaning of 'kleptomania' [gives contest rules and address to send answer to]
I: Then Chris will pick a winner from all the correct answers. Player, if he can, Zack is going to tell you the prize.
Z: The prize is a "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" computer software game. Hey, cool! You can help us bust Carmen on a daily basis. Good luck!
CL: Oh, by the way, I gotta say you guys look absolutely great in the Totally Kids Magazine , eh?
I: Thank you Chris. We're in a two page spread called "The Untimely Crime."
Z: Yeah! Carmen swipes the irreplacable astrological clock. You can help us solve this crime by checking out the Spring issue of Totally Kids Magazine.
CL: Oh man, I just feel great guys. The show's running smoothly as a baby's...uh...rattle.
CL: And Carmen Sandiego's too late! The number 1 song is next.
(crowd cheers, commericial break)
CL: I'm Chris Leary and you're locked into the Fox Kids' Countdown. Thanks again to my co-hosts- Zack and Ivy, stars of Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? Let's give it up, huh?
Z: No prob.
CL: Oh, by the way, before I get to the top, I got surprise mystery guest. Let's bring in this mystery guest!
Aaron(?): Hi, this is Aaron Waters(?).
(in unison) Z: Hey Aaron(?). I: Hi Aaron(?).
Z: Hey guys, without further ado, let's unveil this week's number 1 song.
I: This week's number 1 song on the Fox Kids' Countdown-
All: (gasp) Is gone!
CS: I'm here to annouce the greatest musical theft in history!
CL: Carmen Sandiego's already been here!
I: She's stolen the most important part of the Countdown- this week's number 1 song! Oh, has Carmen Sandiego finally outsmarted us?
The Chief: This is big, big, big, big, big!
CL: Now, wait a sec. Let's just review the clues to catch Carmen.
Z: Good idea Chris. Here's the 2 CD sound clues Carmen left.
(snippets from "King Tut" and "Walk an Egyptian" play)
I: Plus the facts. We know she's in the desert. She writes about being with a big kitty and her toes are in the sand and all they see is land.
Z: Hey, wait up! "King Tut" and "Walk like and Egyptian"-
(in unison) I: Yes! Z: Bingo!
I: Carmen must be hding out in Egypt near the Sphinx! Player, C-5 us to Egypt.
(C-5 corridor noise heard)
The Chief: Don't sit down cluebusters, cuz it's just a hop, skip and and a desert to Egypt. Ah Egypt, desert land of the Nile River, the Great Pyramids and the incredible Sphinx. At 66 feet high and 240 feet wide, this kitty could cough up a furball big enough to take out Egypt's captial Cairo 9 miles away! Next stop, the Great Sphinx.
(C-5 corridor opens)
CS: Welcome detectives.
Z: We're onto you Carmen! Your luck's all washed up!
CS: Robbery must have music.
CL: Yeah, but something still "Sphinx." Ha! Carmen! Give us back that music!
(swiping noise heard)
Aaron(?): So Carmen, you thought you could stop the number 1 song, huh? Didn't ya, didn't ya, didn't ya? Well, you couldn't- here it is "Go Go Power Rangers" and it's number 1!
CL: As he heads back to the states, Aaron Waters(?) pulls through at number 1- "Go Go Power Rangers." I'm Chris Leary hangin in Egypt with Zack and Ivy- by the way, awesome job guys.
Z: Hey thanks Chris, it was a blast.
(explosion sound effect)
I: And Chris, I gotta say, you make a pretty great detective.
CL: Well thank you very much guys. We'll see you every Saturday morning on Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?
Z: All right! Player, C-5 us home.
(in unison) Z: Later Chris! I: See ya!
(C-5 corridor sound effects)
CL: Talk about great co-hosts! Hey listen [gives info on a Power Rangers special]. Hey, have a great Valentine's Day- a time for romance and kisses...Live from Egypt, it's Chris Leary. Hey, do you know where I could rent a fast camel?
(end of the show)
Back to the Manor